When writing, I avoid beginnings because they are delicate places, and I never quite know the ending of things until I get there, so my own story starts in the middle. I love learning, and in 1985 I started to study anthropology and biology at Carleton University. My head was filled with the writings of Fraser, Carlos Castaneda and Wade Davis, and I had visions of wandering with indigenous peoples and uncovering mystic truths. Instead, I found first year anthropology to be a seemingly endless presentation of soulless kinship diagrams and nutrition studies that didn’t interest me, so, I set aside anthropology and focused my undergraduate studies on biology instead.
My path to Carleton was not conventional. My father was a military officer, and I grew up in the army. I was born in Germany, and lived in 10 places by the time I was 6. At that time, it was considered that the “family served with the soldier”, and my life was one of tradition, unstated rules and strong expectations. I did well in school, but by high school I was bored, and felt like I did not fit in at school or at home. I moved out at age 16, travelled, and returned to Ottawa, where I worked as a medic for the Canadian Forces and at 3 other jobs to support myself during my first year at Carleton. Later, I won military sponsorship to pay my way through school. Three days after I completed the final exams for my undergraduate degree, I was in the woods of New Brunswick, training to be an infantry officer.
After serving my time in the Forces, I returned to school for graduate studies in molecular genetics and microbial toxicity. With thoughts to becoming a biotechnology entrepreneur, I left my job and graduate studies prior to completion, and instead completed an MBA in Science and Technology at Queens University just at the time that the first technology “dot boom” was happening. I ended up at Nortel as a self-taught network designer and business advisor. Along the way, with no planning on my part, I somehow became a specialist in data security. I left Nortel, worked as a security advisor for a bank, and then started my own data security company. Creating a company is an artistic endevour, and it has motivated/harried me for more than 20 years. However, along the way, I realized that I was no longer intellectually challenged by the day-to-day operations, and I returned to anthropology and graduate studies at McMaster. I felt a need to intellectually re-connect with people, rather than spending more time on an anonymous network populated by machines.
My career appears to be a series of unrelated and unplanned moves, but there are some threads connecting my choices. Leading troops in combat, examining a metabolic pathway, or by-passing the security of a complex data system all require a mindset that looks for the holes and cracks that come from understanding a system’s underlying complexity. I am a vandal, challenged to bend and break complex systems to meet my own requirements.
I also love to talk, to present, to inform – all in direct opposition to the fact that I am a huge introvert. I have performed in both dramatic and improv theatre, and even worked as a (somewhat) successful stand-up comedian. Lecutres and industry key-note sessions are well received by the audience, but every performance takes a lot of energy and emotional investment from me. Similarily, I have to mentally rehearse what I will say at any social event. And at the end of the night, I have to find a place to be alone, to recharge and bring me back to myself. It’s much easier for me to communicate with writing. I have written and published military notes, scientific papers on bacterial toxins, and a textbook on advanced penetration testing. Presently, I’m working on my first novel, tentatively titled “And all my days are trances” (courtesy of Edgar Allan Poe); it describes my discovery and coming to terms with the other common thread throughout my life – ADHD.
Until 2 years ago, I suffered from undiagnosed ADHD, which affects my executive decision making abilities: I will sometimes mentally “lock” and be unable to complete a task that I know that I must do. Because I have had this condition for so long, I have created my own strategies to organize myself, and overcome challenges and barriers. I am finally successful at navigating school, work, and my family. To keep me on my toes, I’m the father to two amazing kids – one of whom also has ADHD.
